She's on Fire

Age is NOT the answer

• Jen Gaines • Season 4 • Episode 36

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Ever wondered why some people seem to carry an unshakable confidence, while others struggle regardless of their age? Let's unpack the myth that confidence naturally blossoms with age. Discover how I battled with low self-esteem and the pivotal mindset shifts that turned my life around. This episode is all about realizing that confidence is a choice—an ongoing process that demands self-awareness, bold actions, and detachment from others' opinions. You'll learn how to embrace a fearless mindset, transforming the way you perceive yourself with each brave step you take.

This conversation is your invitation to redefine your self-concept and inner narrative. By harnessing the power of positive self-dialogue and visualization, you can forge the confident version of yourself you've long aspired to be. I'll guide you through the importance of taking action, even if you don't feel ready, and highlight how these experiences strengthen your confidence. It's time to let go of the need for external validation and empower yourself from within. Whether you're 20 or 70, the choice to live authentically is yours. As I share my journey turning 50, I urge you to take that first bold step, write it down, and let's celebrate your progress together. The world is waiting for you to set it on fire!

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Make sure to connect with me on IG: @fiercemomboss

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the she's On Fire podcast. I'm your host, jen Gaines, and this podcast is for the woman who is ready to step boldly into the online business world with unshakable confidence. So today we're diving deep into a belief that I've seen holding a lot of women back, and it's really the idea that confidence, that not caring what others think magically happens at a certain age. So you know, 30, 40, 50, 60, whatever it is. But let me tell you something confidence not caring what other people think it doesn't come with any age. That bold, fearless I don't care what anyone thinks attitude that comes with doing inner work, and we're going to talk about this today. I'm going to give you some really good ways that you can start doing this. So you might see me as confident, as bold, as I turn 50 this week. You might think, wow, she's just naturally that way, and I say this all the time because I want to be very clear. That is a product of the inner work that I've done.

Speaker 1:

It's not just I became confident one day. It's not just that's how I've always been. In fact, I had very low confidence. I had very low self-esteem. It's the product of rewiring my brain. I didn't magically wake up at 44 and was all of a sudden fearless. I still feel fear, but I built this doing the inner work, and I stress this so much because I know everybody wants to get out there and make money and, you know, do all the things. But one of the things that people often get held back by is the fear is low confidence is you know what their family or friends are going to say, and so I'm going to give you ways to combat this. I've seen women in their 40s and 50s and even 60s. I've worked with women in their 60s even who are still held back by fear of judgment, still afraid to speak up, still worried about what their family and friends or even strangers on the internet might say, and at the same time, I've worked with women in their 20s who are unapologetically owning their space. So it has zero to do with age. So if you've been waiting for confidence or the ability to stop caring what others think, just to happen like, oh, this year is going to be the year that I'm just going to, you know, never worry anymore because I'm becoming older. No, it doesn't work like that. We're going to break it down.

Speaker 1:

So we've all heard the myth of confidence and boldness comes with age. I know people have heard this, I know you've heard, you know certain age women say oh I just, you know, I just woke up one day and I stopped caring. And I don't believe that for a second. That's not how it works. We've heard it before oh, when I turn 40, I'll finally stop caring what people think. By 50, I'll have it all figured out At 60, I'll be too old to care what others say. But let's be real. If competence and boldness automatically came with age, we wouldn't see women in their 50s still hesitant to put themselves out there or women in their 60s still holding back on their dreams. I see it every day.

Speaker 1:

Confidence does not come with age. Not caring what others think does not come with age. It comes with doing the work. It comes with making the decision to do it. And here's something to really think about Maybe you, maybe you're somebody.

Speaker 1:

Maybe you maybe you're somebody and you do feel like you care less now than you did in your 20s or 30s. That's not because of age. It's because at some point you made a decision to stop letting other people's opinions run your life. It was a decision. That decision wasn't because of a birthday? Maybe it was. Maybe you know you turned 30 and you're like you know what I am done with worrying about what other people think. You're doing the inner work by making that decision and following through. So it wasn't because of a birthday. It wasn't because of a birthday. It was because you got tired of playing small, you got tired of biting your tongue, you got tired of watching other people go after the things that you wanted to have and you sat on the sidelines, always second guessing yourself. You made a decision to stop, and that's the point.

Speaker 1:

Confidence and not caring what others think doesn't just happen. It happens when you decide to stop letting fear hold you back. The best part is you don't have to wait until you're 40, 50, 60 or 70 or any of that. It doesn't matter what age you are. Right now you can make the decision right now, today. You get to choose who you're going to be at any point in time. I know this because I've lived it. The confidence that you see in me now it's not luck, it's not something I was born with. Like I said, it's not age. It's the result of doing the inner work to rewire my mind and break free from the weight of other people's opinions. So let's talk about where confidence really comes from, because I think that this is important.

Speaker 1:

If confidence and boldness don't just magically appear because of age, where are they going to come from? They come from the work you do on your self-concept, on becoming self-aware, the way you see yourself. They come from shifting your mindset, breaking the habit of caring too much about outside opinions, and I'm going to get to how you do this. But I want to talk about the background of it first. They come from action. The more you do the scary thing, the bolder you're going to become. Here's the truth, the real truth. Boldness isn't about being born fearless. It's about deciding that you are worthy of being seen and heard and then reinforcing that decision every single day. I want you to think about this If you never challenge your negative self-talk, you'll still be battling the same doubts at 60 that you had or have at 30.

Speaker 1:

I see it all the time. Or have at 30. I see it all the time. There are people in my family I see it with. There are women who I've worked with that I see it with. If you never put yourself out there, you'll still feel just as invisible and vulnerable at 50, as you do now, or 60, or 70,. Whatever it is, confidence is built, it's practiced, it's a muscle you strengthen by doing, not a switch that flips at a certain age. So how can you cultivate confidence at any age?

Speaker 1:

Now that we've busted the myth that confidence and boldness magically happen with some magical age, let's talk about how you can actually build them at any stage in your life. And you know what. It does not need to take years. It does not need to take years. It does not need to take a long time. I work with women all the time to help them rewire their brains. We use hypnosis. We use different types of meditation. Hypnosis is huge. It's part of how I did it with myself.

Speaker 1:

The first thing that you got to do. I'm going to give you some steps to do, because it's really important. You need to start working on it right now. Don't wait till next week, don't wait till next month, don't wait till next year, because if you just wait, you know what? In 2026, you're going to want to listen to the same exact podcast, because you're going to be sitting in the same exact place as you are now. So let's do this right now.

Speaker 1:

You need to shift your inner narrative and rewire your self-concept. Your thoughts about yourself determine how you show up in this world. If, deep down, you believe I'm not good enough, I'm not meant to be seen, I'm not interesting enough, then no matter what you do, you'll carry that energy into every space that you enter, everywhere you go. So how do you shift this? You want to pay attention to your inner dialogue. Stop saying things like I'm not a confident person. Instead, I want you to, right now, make the decision. I'm learning to be confident. Confidence is something that I will practice daily. I am showing up with boldness, even when I feel afraid, because the only way that you will become bold is to act bold and to take the action that you need to take.

Speaker 1:

Start visualizing yourself as the woman who walks into a room with certainty, the woman who speaks her truth without hesitation, even if your voice trembles. Own the room, Walk in with your head held high, wherever it is you go, whether it's to the grocery store, to the bank or to a family gathering. The only way you're going to stop caring what people think is if you hold your head high and you stop caring what people think. There's another episode coming up about this that you're going to need to listen to, but start visualizing yourself as the woman who walks into a room with certainty. This is so important. Visualization is crucial. It is a key to unlock who you want to be. It is a key to unlock who you want to be. Your brain believes what you tell it most often, so you need to feed it with empowering beliefs and you'll start seeing yourself differently.

Speaker 1:

Next, you want to take bold action before you're ready, and I know that this is a difficult one, but the more things you do that scare you, the less scary it becomes. Confidence is built by doing. You have to do the. There are so many times where I will say to somebody for talking about their marketing and they want to connect with more people and I'm like, go live on Instagram. And I've heard it so many times oh, I'm not, I'm not ready for that. You're never going to be ready until you do it and become ready. Your confidence is going to be built by doing.

Speaker 1:

Post the content even if your hands are shaking. People want leaders. People want to be inspired. Speak up even if your voice is trembling, even if you feel awkward. Do the live Instagram, tiktok in a Facebook group, whatever it is, whatever it is, where you say, oh, I can't do that yet, I'm not ready, you're right, you're not ready, you're not going to be ready until you do it. And then, once you've done it, then you're ready.

Speaker 1:

Put your offers out there, even if you're worried about rejection. I want you to right now, today, not tomorrow, not next week. I want you to write down one bold move that you've been avoiding because you don't feel ready. Whatever it is. Don't feel ready whatever it is. Write it down and then, within 24 hours, I want you to do it, and you will be so surprised how good it feels once you've done it, how proud you'll feel about doing it. And that is the way that you're going to build your confidence. That is going to make you feel bold when you feel like you're not ready to do something, and then you do it anyways. That's what's going to make you feel bold. That's what's going to build that boldness and that fierce mentality inside you.

Speaker 1:

And the last thing you need to detach from others' opinions. You've got to do this. I don't care who they are. I don't care family friends, internet trolls, it doesn't matter. Detach yourself from those opinions. Again. There's another podcast coming up on this, because it will really help you about other people's opinions.

Speaker 1:

But I want you to understand this the most powerful women in business leadership have one thing in common they don't seek permission to be bold. They don't think oh, I wonder what so-and-so is going to think when I do this. They just do it. If your confidence depends on other people's approval, you're always going to be at the mercy and always going to be giving the power to what other people think. So if you take that action step and you do something bold in the next 24 hours, don't worry about other opinions. They don't matter. Do the thing anyways and you're going to see your confidence, increase your confidence, increase Confidence.

Speaker 1:

And not caring what others think. It's not an age thing, it's not. It's a decision thing, it's a practice, it's a habit and it doesn't matter if you're listening and you're 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70. I don't care what your age is. You get to choose to start showing up differently. You get to choose who you want to be Choosing to be that bold woman. It is a choice that you get to make, and making that choice and following through with the action on it, it's going to change your world.

Speaker 1:

So take the action now. Do it right now. Write it down In the next 24 hours, do it, and then I want you to DM me at fiercemombosscom Not com, just fiercemomboss on Instagram and tell me about it. I just want to hear. I want to hear that you've done it. Take ownership of it, because you are making a big decision to change your entire life with this one small action and then it's going to snowball and you're going to create momentum and keep going. I want you to set your world on fire and I know you can, no matter what age you are. I'm turning 50 this week and looking back over my life, and looking back over my life how I wish I had done the inner work in my 20s or 30s. But here I am now and I am so grateful for what I've built. I want to see you doing the same thing, because I know you can. So send me a DM, let me hear all about it and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.